It’s been so long since I’ve last updated this blog. Ideas are flowing in like the Niagara Falls but sadly, everything went to waste in this land called “Twitter“.
But this time, this freaking time, I took the liberty to pour whatever I have, in this new post.
I lied. Actually it’s 5:13 am in the morning and I can’t sleep. Updating this entry just to kill time and wait for Subuh.
I’ll tie the knot this June, insyaAllah. It will be a small reception, not as fancy as what others might think. The reason? I took the leap of faith. Yep, you’ve read it right. I took the leap of faith.
Back then, I was pressured by so many angles; careers, family, love ones. I was at the brink of losing my job, stuff happens in the family, and I was in the zone where I am to distrust any creatures that experience menses. OK, that’s dramatic. I wanted to say that I’m in the zone where I am to distrust women.
Women. Relationship. Both are mysterious to me.
I used to be in a relationship with a decent, nice girl. Came from a good family. Good listener. What went wrong? My mother hates her. I know the reason as to why my mother dislikes her, but my mother doesn’t just dislikes her. She hates her. Back then, it tore my heart. We tried our best, but my mother doesn’t want to change her mind.
I know how some people say “alaaaa bukannya mak kau yang nak kahwin dengan dia” but trust me, a mother’s blessing comes with Allah’s blessings. If you do things that doesn’t comes with your mother’s blessings, you’re in deep trouble. As in, really, deep trouble. You don’t feel any ‘peace of mind’.
So I broke up. Took the hard decision and the hit. It was bad. Really bad. Not to mention some of the things that I’ve done in the past came to haunt me. Even the thought of it sends shiver down my spine. I’ve decided, back then, that women are not as awesome as I think they are. I’ve decided to not go into any relationship. Heck, I even have the idea of asking my mother to find a suitable candidate. “Haaa, puas hati Mummy, kan?” LOL!
Then, I met you. It’s not really all Cinderella and Prince Charming (eewwww). We’ve just met. Through Twitter. And then, we’ve decided to become friends. This, helped me to change my perspective. We can talk. We can laugh. You can take my jokes. I can take yours. We spend most of our evenings having coffee and tidbits. You even brought me to this charity events, where people gather around to help the needy. I really enjoy the company and the attention that you gave.
So I took the leap of faith. I propose. We can be great friends. Why can’t we be great partners? I really believe that Allah will help us if we try to help ourselves.
It turns out that the leap of faith was the best leap I’ve ever taken. Who would have thought, that it would turn out OK in a short period of time? The most best part is that you were actually close to be the whole time. You were just a stone throw away. We were actually working in the same building, for almost a year and we didn’t notice each other. Allah works in a miracle way!
If only I knew you were there all the time. :/
Thank you for accepting me. You have the option to choose, and you chose me; a fat dude who spends most of the time reading or playing chess or defeating an evil warlord using this machine called an Xbox 360. You could have chose someone better, someone who has a better looks, better career, better body. You could have choose someone who can spend time with you in those forest and camping nights and not being grumpy, but you chose me.
You were right. Fairy tales doesn’t exist. They were lies fabricated to ease the pain. But guess what? Reality is better than what you think it is. I cannot give any promises now; I can only give it when we’ve tied the knot. But you can expect that I’ll always be there for you, through thick and thin, insyaAllah.
I’m not your knight in the shiny armor. I did not save you, nor did I guide you. In fact, you’ve guided yourself, and you’ve saved me from being a stupid idiot who refuses to accepts the Qada’ and Qadar.
We’re not like Cinderella and Prince Charming (eewwww), but we’re more like, Fiona and Shrek. Uh hu. But sorry dear, you’re a shorter version of Fiona. Dan awak lagi garang dari Fiona. True story. T____T
Thank you. 🙂